I'm already bored writing this. All I can think about is Kris since she just popped up on FB chat and then signed right off. I wanted to say something so bad, but also I was so scared to. As soon as I saw her name in the box I got butterflies. I wonder if I'll ever get bored with this obsession.
Saw Greenberg tonight and really liked it. I thought Ben Stiller was great. I don't think I've ever seen him in a role like that (not being the neurotic, nervous Jew). He definitely did it up Baumbach style. I recommend.
I wonder what Kris is doing right now....
I wonder if I'll be in LA this time next year. That movie was set in LA and I want to go there. I wonder how it's different from living here- besides the weather and driving.
I fear that I can't write. That this is just boring dribble. I've never called writing "dribble" before. I wonder from where I got that.
I don't want to be all pathetic and sad and feeling like shit about myself because I don't think my ex-girlfriend is attracted to me anymore or doesn't think I'm interesting and cool. I want to move forward and learn and do new things and at least feel like I'm accomplishing something. That's a really good feeling. I know that I don't need a woman to do that. I just need to believe in myself- and do. And then, maybe one day, I'll be able to give myself to another person. And accept another person into my life. I don't want to be selfish. I just want to be the most honest version of myself I can be while performing.
now i'm looking at fb over and over to see if kris has maybe messaged me. or to look at her page.. i'm making a smoothie.
