breathing

i think breathing may be the only thing i can do right now. this is hard. it's hard to try to go against this urge to obsess about this person and whether or not i did something wrong. it's hard not to constantly check my phone and facebook for messages from her. i so want her to realize after a week or so that i haven't contacted her and that she misses me. i want her to miss my texts every day. i want her to miss seeing me. i want her to rethink what she said last saturday. but she probably won't. and i'll probably stop thinking about her, eventually. for now i'll just breath and ask god to get me through this (i think it's working!) i have to admit, it is pretty amazing that i'm not a drunken mess right now. and at the same time, i'm scared to be alone. i'm scared to look around my room or outside for i keep seeing things that remind me of her. god, please make this go away! i'm doing everything i can to get my mind off of her. i'll be okay. breathe....